Seinfeld
Some days I don't like knowing people read this. Not only do I feel compelled to write something, I feel a duty to make it interesting, no matter how dull the material that inspires it. Maybe I should rename my blog "Seinfeld." You know, the blog about nothing?
What's truly on my mind right now? Here ya go: I woke up this morning with the skin on my face so dry that even after multiple applications of aloe gel and lotion (both!) it feels like even a mild grin will cause my face to crumble and fall off. How's that?
I could tell you about my cold. I probably caught it at my cousin's wedding or from a door handle at one of the rest stops on the drive home from it. Why can't they make bathroom doors so that you pull on the handle going in and not on the way out? That way after washing my hands I could push the door open with an elbow or a foot.
And while we're at it, why is it still societal custom to shake hands? Why do we use the primary means of transmitting disease to one another as a gesture of introduction or greeting? I think I'm going to start putting a dollop of hand sanitizer in my palm before shaking hands from now on. Even if it doesn't protect me from catching something, it will be fun to see the look on the other guy's face!
Don't get me started on saying "Bless you" after someone sneezes. Bless YOU? How about blessing US so that we don't catch whatever you just spewed into the air we're sharing.
That's right. From now on it is incumbent upon the sneezer to follow with a blessing to anyone within range. Who's with me!
The cold seems slow in coming, though. Perhaps the large doses of Vitamin C are helping me fend it off. That's the advice my mother still gives me if she learns I have a cold coming on. It's probably an old wives tale, which is fitting since after 44 years of marriage, my mother is nothing if not an old wife.
Thus Grace Slick sang in Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit. If Vitamin C my mother recommends doesn't do anything, it probably does no harm either.
What's truly on my mind right now? Here ya go: I woke up this morning with the skin on my face so dry that even after multiple applications of aloe gel and lotion (both!) it feels like even a mild grin will cause my face to crumble and fall off. How's that?
I could tell you about my cold. I probably caught it at my cousin's wedding or from a door handle at one of the rest stops on the drive home from it. Why can't they make bathroom doors so that you pull on the handle going in and not on the way out? That way after washing my hands I could push the door open with an elbow or a foot.
And while we're at it, why is it still societal custom to shake hands? Why do we use the primary means of transmitting disease to one another as a gesture of introduction or greeting? I think I'm going to start putting a dollop of hand sanitizer in my palm before shaking hands from now on. Even if it doesn't protect me from catching something, it will be fun to see the look on the other guy's face!
Don't get me started on saying "Bless you" after someone sneezes. Bless YOU? How about blessing US so that we don't catch whatever you just spewed into the air we're sharing.
That's right. From now on it is incumbent upon the sneezer to follow with a blessing to anyone within range. Who's with me!
The cold seems slow in coming, though. Perhaps the large doses of Vitamin C are helping me fend it off. That's the advice my mother still gives me if she learns I have a cold coming on. It's probably an old wives tale, which is fitting since after 44 years of marriage, my mother is nothing if not an old wife.
One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Thus Grace Slick sang in Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit. If Vitamin C my mother recommends doesn't do anything, it probably does no harm either.
posted by jack at 4:04 PM
3 Comments:
vitamin c does work.
i'm totally on board with you about the shaking hands things. your commentary on it actually reminds me of that seinfeld episode (can't remember which one exactly) where jerry talks about the kiss hello. ever see that one? basically he says he thinks it's pointless and if you're gonna kiss on the cheek hello, you should probably be allowed to cop a feel too. so, okay, it's not exactly the same thing you talk about but still funny...
anyway, hope you feel better!
Another gem from Seinfeld: "You're soooo good-looking!"
Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog. I plan to visit yours again soon. :)
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