Internet Dating Etiquette
I've begun Internet dating, which is probably not quite accurate since since there haven't been any actual dates yet. But I just started.
I'm not using a pay site. Craigslist has a section for my area so I'm going to start with that and see if anything comes of it.
I've replied to three ads so far. They have each asked for pictures and I have complied. Each sent images of people I presume to be of themselves in return. So for all three I apparently passed the "looks test." Hooray for not being butt ugly!
The first woman describes herself as a 29-year-old non-drinker who exercises 90 minutes a day, which is cool because I also don't drink and I like to watch girls get sweaty. (Rimshot!) Actually, I workout 5-7 times a week and want someone who shares my interest in fitness. So that's good. Ninety minutes a day seems a tad obsessive but, hey, let's not get too judgemental right off the bat. She looks attractive enough in her photo, though she appears to devote none of her 90 minutes to working on her arms. A little flabby there. But, again, she's the first one. I don't even know what else might be out there yet.
What she hadn't mentioned in her ad was that being taller than her was not enough. She wanted someone taller than her while she was wearing stilts. Wilt Chamberlain, I'm not. First of all, he's dead and, talented as I'd like to believe I was, I have yet to master typing while dead. The fact you're reading this should suggest that I'm at least still breathing. And secondly, I'm not seven feet tall.
So, if you're scoring at home, which would make one of us (Rimshot!), I'm 0-for-1. This does not disappoint me. The flabby arms would have annoyed me at some point. Better she wave goodbye when I don't have to see it.
The second woman (the thought occurs that these might not even be women posting these ads, but I gotta think that I'd notice the difference at some point) says she's 33, and 5'7" with a slender build. She has, she says, "absolutely no problems with getting a male's attention everytime I go out." But she wants to advance from the clubbers she usually meets, preferably to man one with nice pecs. "My biggest turn on in a guy is a nice chest. (I'm a sucker!)" Whaddya know? I like a nice chest too!
(Ba-da-bing!)
I decide not to mention that in my reply. What I do write (including my willingness to sing karaoke completely sober) seems charming enough and she writes back -- if you can say that about a reply that doesn't include any actual writing. It consists of a series of five images of her in different poses, all but one from the neck up. They're of such high contrast they look like they might have been doctored to mask poor skin. But it works. She looks good in the pictures. The one that offers a glimps of her bust doesn't show a lot but if she's "slender," they probably fit her body well. Though I have certainly enjoyed the recreational use of large breasts, they are far from a requirement. Give me small ones that the girl enjoys being touched, nibbled and sucked and I'm good to go.
I write back, "You certainly photograph well. I presume, however, that you are more than just a pretty face." I ask her to tell me a story. That was a couple of days ago and she has not replied. Maybe she broke both her hands and can't type. Maybe forming sentences with words and all is giving her trouble and she's still working on it. We'll see.
That brings us to door number three. "Smart, Attractive Woman Seeks Same in Man," her headline reads. I'm guessing she'll settle for the smart and attractive parts. She wants a woman in me? I want me in a woman. (Rimshot! I'm killing tonight!) She says right in the headline that she's attractive. She adds later that, "I'm in good shape," and that she seeks her "physical equal." Are you getting the same vibe I'm getting here? We're talking hottie, right?
I send off my spiel and she writes back with attached photos of herself. I won't say she lied about her appearance. Let's just say that we differ on the definition of "attractive." She's not hideous or anything but she doesn't look athletic at all. Doesn't have a cute face. Generally not someone I would look at and think, "I wonder if she'll go out with me."
But thanks to life via the Internet, essentially I have.
What do I do? What's the etiquette here? Do I write back feigning interest for the sake of maybe meeting someone who could enlarge my circle of friends? That is, if she wasn't exaggerating her intellect too. Do I politely inform her that I don't think we'd be a match. Do I delete her e-mail and pretend the whole thing never happened?
Odd.
What about Sarah? You wonder.
We'll see about that. We traded e-mails on Sunday and I mentioned that I might have to come downtown, where she works, to cover a story sometime this week. It so happened that the story came together faster than I thought and I had to do it Monday. I e-mailed Sarah to tell her that I'd call her when I finished to see if she was free. She never wrote back.
She called. To tell me that she had a volleyball game and couldn't meet me. Then the kiss off: "But thank you for thinking of me." Followed by this: "I'd love to take you out sometime." This is what baffles me. One moment she sounds like she's pushing me away; the next she seems to be encouraging me to pursue her.
I'm going to let it cool down for a while. If she's interested, she'll initiate contact. She doesn't have to do the asking. All she has to do is to write or call to say, "Hi," and I'll start banging my head against the wall again for her, which appears to be the only banging I'm going to be doing with her. That's OK, as I'm mentioned before. But I'd like to find a way to sort this out with her so that I'll know if we'll always stay just friends or not.
I'm not using a pay site. Craigslist has a section for my area so I'm going to start with that and see if anything comes of it.
I've replied to three ads so far. They have each asked for pictures and I have complied. Each sent images of people I presume to be of themselves in return. So for all three I apparently passed the "looks test." Hooray for not being butt ugly!
The first woman describes herself as a 29-year-old non-drinker who exercises 90 minutes a day, which is cool because I also don't drink and I like to watch girls get sweaty. (Rimshot!) Actually, I workout 5-7 times a week and want someone who shares my interest in fitness. So that's good. Ninety minutes a day seems a tad obsessive but, hey, let's not get too judgemental right off the bat. She looks attractive enough in her photo, though she appears to devote none of her 90 minutes to working on her arms. A little flabby there. But, again, she's the first one. I don't even know what else might be out there yet.
What she hadn't mentioned in her ad was that being taller than her was not enough. She wanted someone taller than her while she was wearing stilts. Wilt Chamberlain, I'm not. First of all, he's dead and, talented as I'd like to believe I was, I have yet to master typing while dead. The fact you're reading this should suggest that I'm at least still breathing. And secondly, I'm not seven feet tall.
So, if you're scoring at home, which would make one of us (Rimshot!), I'm 0-for-1. This does not disappoint me. The flabby arms would have annoyed me at some point. Better she wave goodbye when I don't have to see it.
The second woman (the thought occurs that these might not even be women posting these ads, but I gotta think that I'd notice the difference at some point) says she's 33, and 5'7" with a slender build. She has, she says, "absolutely no problems with getting a male's attention everytime I go out." But she wants to advance from the clubbers she usually meets, preferably to man one with nice pecs. "My biggest turn on in a guy is a nice chest. (I'm a sucker!)" Whaddya know? I like a nice chest too!
(Ba-da-bing!)
I decide not to mention that in my reply. What I do write (including my willingness to sing karaoke completely sober) seems charming enough and she writes back -- if you can say that about a reply that doesn't include any actual writing. It consists of a series of five images of her in different poses, all but one from the neck up. They're of such high contrast they look like they might have been doctored to mask poor skin. But it works. She looks good in the pictures. The one that offers a glimps of her bust doesn't show a lot but if she's "slender," they probably fit her body well. Though I have certainly enjoyed the recreational use of large breasts, they are far from a requirement. Give me small ones that the girl enjoys being touched, nibbled and sucked and I'm good to go.
I write back, "You certainly photograph well. I presume, however, that you are more than just a pretty face." I ask her to tell me a story. That was a couple of days ago and she has not replied. Maybe she broke both her hands and can't type. Maybe forming sentences with words and all is giving her trouble and she's still working on it. We'll see.
That brings us to door number three. "Smart, Attractive Woman Seeks Same in Man," her headline reads. I'm guessing she'll settle for the smart and attractive parts. She wants a woman in me? I want me in a woman. (Rimshot! I'm killing tonight!) She says right in the headline that she's attractive. She adds later that, "I'm in good shape," and that she seeks her "physical equal." Are you getting the same vibe I'm getting here? We're talking hottie, right?
I send off my spiel and she writes back with attached photos of herself. I won't say she lied about her appearance. Let's just say that we differ on the definition of "attractive." She's not hideous or anything but she doesn't look athletic at all. Doesn't have a cute face. Generally not someone I would look at and think, "I wonder if she'll go out with me."
But thanks to life via the Internet, essentially I have.
What do I do? What's the etiquette here? Do I write back feigning interest for the sake of maybe meeting someone who could enlarge my circle of friends? That is, if she wasn't exaggerating her intellect too. Do I politely inform her that I don't think we'd be a match. Do I delete her e-mail and pretend the whole thing never happened?
Odd.
What about Sarah? You wonder.
We'll see about that. We traded e-mails on Sunday and I mentioned that I might have to come downtown, where she works, to cover a story sometime this week. It so happened that the story came together faster than I thought and I had to do it Monday. I e-mailed Sarah to tell her that I'd call her when I finished to see if she was free. She never wrote back.
She called. To tell me that she had a volleyball game and couldn't meet me. Then the kiss off: "But thank you for thinking of me." Followed by this: "I'd love to take you out sometime." This is what baffles me. One moment she sounds like she's pushing me away; the next she seems to be encouraging me to pursue her.
I'm going to let it cool down for a while. If she's interested, she'll initiate contact. She doesn't have to do the asking. All she has to do is to write or call to say, "Hi," and I'll start banging my head against the wall again for her, which appears to be the only banging I'm going to be doing with her. That's OK, as I'm mentioned before. But I'd like to find a way to sort this out with her so that I'll know if we'll always stay just friends or not.
posted by jack at 8:50 PM
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