I Miss Beer Ads

It must be sweeps. Even the beloved beer ads that usually fill the commercial breaks of football games and NASCAR races on my local NBC affiliate get kicked aside so that SnoozeChannel 6's Perky McPerkyAnchor can tell me how her personal intervention cured some woman's peeling paint problem.

"That's when I stepped in!"

What, did she re-paint the car herself? And how many takes did it take for her to get that crossed arms look just right? They'll have to add a new class in broadcast journalism schools: How to pose in your promos. Thanks, Perky, for curing the world's miseries -- one rusting Mitsubishi at a time.

Snarky? Nah. If I wanted to be snarky, I'd say that at least the beer ads might show me an attractive woman. She doesn't even have the best paint related story this week. Pesky McPeskyGuy is going to show me a specially painted cinder block that will stop terrorists! Tonight! On the Fox 15 Ten O'Clock News!

You just can't get that stuff from NPR. Nor will they likely report, as Fox News' Rudi Bakhtiar did, that the FDA has declared silicone breast implants "safe and effective." Effective? Isn't that for me to judge?

Also gleaned from my Sunday sports viewing interrupted by numerous teases for the 11 p.m. news: the ActionNews weekend anchor is an attractive gal, yes, but that is way too much hair. I'm not sure that's the message they hoped I'd take away from that.

Something new

This is my friend Karla's email: neighborsfriend@herisp.com
I keep getting a message to hook you two up. If interested why dont you email her to see if you have anything in common. . . Just a thought!

That odd e-mail out of the blue from my next door neighbor led to my writing this letter.

We do not know each other but my next-door neighbor Cherie thinks that maybe we should. Last night she sent me an unusual e-mail that began simply: "This is my friend Karla's email: neighborsfriend@herisp.com. I keep getting a message to hook you two up."

I wrote back thanking her for thinking of me and that I was curious who kept leaving her this message. She replied that I could call it "intuition, higher power, God". She assured me that she was not claiming clairvoyance. "But for some reason every time I see her or you I think of the other. So I thought it couldnt hurt if you emailed each other to see if you have anything in common." Something besides eminding Cherie of each other, I presume.

And that is why I now send you what must seem a most unusual e-mail.

Cherie has probably given you a thumbnail description of me. I hope she at least arned you about her revelation and that you might be hearing from me. About me? Never married, never had children, though I do have a cat. Or the cat has me. There's occasional confusion about that. I can sing karaoke sober but I recommend that listeners drink heavily first. I'll spare you further details for now but I've written many of them on my blog. If you're curious that will give you a better picture of me. Actually the pictures there will give you a better picture of me. The words might have an entirely different effect. We'll find out soon enough.

Jack

That was a few days ago. I'm told Karla rarely checks her e-mail so she might not be ignoring me. Turns out Cherie did warn her that I might be writing to her. We'll see.