Faking It
Scanning the channels last night, I ran across a re-run of When Harry Met Sally at the point where Harry Met Sally in the diner for lunch. Yes, the scene of the most famous faked orgasm ever in a cafe. And possibly ever anywhere.
Can I just say something?
(Hearing no objections I'll continue.)
Unlike Harry, I know I've been "faked on." Furthermore, I know WHEN. You see, dear lady, you're not Meg Ryan and you're not that good an actress. (If, by chance you ARE Meg Ryan, e-mail me, babe, and we'll do lunch! Toodles!)
When you fake it, I can tell. Just because I've never confronted you about it doesn't mean I've never noticed it. What, I'm supposed to call you on it? That was a fake moan! No. Politeness and the hope that I get a chance to redeem myself later require that I get the signal that you'd like to be finished and soon would like for me to be too.
Don't worry. I'm not offended. In fact, I appreciate the consideration for my feelings. It's much better than if you were to lie there and look up to ask, "Are you done yet?" before continuing to file your nails. Much better.
I may be atypical. My libido is not connected to my ego. I'm not looking to set any sexual records and I'm not waiting to hear your rave review, though I'll be glad to listen! I will not be the one who asks if I was the best you've ever had. When we're in bed I don't want you thinking about rankings. Ideally you'd be so deliriously rapturous that you can't think about anything. If we both enjoy it enough to look forward to doing it again that's all the reassurance I need.
But gets me wondering: should I fake it sometimes too? With a condom on I can, you know. Does it bother you if I don't reach my peak? Do you feel like you let me down or did not perform adequately? I never thought of that. I doubt most guys have. Would you feel better if I went through the motions and made the noises I'd make if I really were about to blast off for the moon?
Can I just say something?
(Hearing no objections I'll continue.)
Unlike Harry, I know I've been "faked on." Furthermore, I know WHEN. You see, dear lady, you're not Meg Ryan and you're not that good an actress. (If, by chance you ARE Meg Ryan, e-mail me, babe, and we'll do lunch! Toodles!)
When you fake it, I can tell. Just because I've never confronted you about it doesn't mean I've never noticed it. What, I'm supposed to call you on it? That was a fake moan! No. Politeness and the hope that I get a chance to redeem myself later require that I get the signal that you'd like to be finished and soon would like for me to be too.
Don't worry. I'm not offended. In fact, I appreciate the consideration for my feelings. It's much better than if you were to lie there and look up to ask, "Are you done yet?" before continuing to file your nails. Much better.
I may be atypical. My libido is not connected to my ego. I'm not looking to set any sexual records and I'm not waiting to hear your rave review, though I'll be glad to listen! I will not be the one who asks if I was the best you've ever had. When we're in bed I don't want you thinking about rankings. Ideally you'd be so deliriously rapturous that you can't think about anything. If we both enjoy it enough to look forward to doing it again that's all the reassurance I need.
But gets me wondering: should I fake it sometimes too? With a condom on I can, you know. Does it bother you if I don't reach my peak? Do you feel like you let me down or did not perform adequately? I never thought of that. I doubt most guys have. Would you feel better if I went through the motions and made the noises I'd make if I really were about to blast off for the moon?
posted by jack at 8:20 PM
3 Comments:
again your post reminds me of another seinfeld episode - the one where elaine tells jerry she faked it with him. and in the same episode, kramer reveals that he has faked it a number of times. funny stuff...
anyway, to answer your question, i think that if it's your first time with a woman you should definitely fake it. if you've been with her a number of times, there's no need.
IMHO, if a guy did not come when we're having sex, i would feel a little inadequate...BUT i also understand that sometimes he can just get tired. so, no, i would not want him to pretend - the real thing is so much better. for us both.
but is sex still enjoyable for you when you don't orgasm? i think society has kind of led us to believe that only women can enjoy sex when they don't orgasm....
No it's not enjoyable for me without orgasm. At least not if you're talking intercourse.
I think biology comes into play here. Guys are wired to finish the act because the reason for sex in the first place is for the male to ejaculate into the female.
That's why beyond a certain point, if I don't finish it's a huge frustration. Now giving you oral can be fun by itself but once we get to intercourse, I need to reach my peak for it to satisfy me.
now hearing that, it would be hard for me to know that if my guy wasn't satisfied because he didn't finish. still i wouldn't want him to fake it, but hopefully we could think of other ways i could help him reach orgasm.
why is it that when we have intercourse there is always the possibility that we won't climax, BUT when we masturbate that scenario is hardly ever the case??
i mean, when i "take matters into my own hands" i hardly ever stop until i'm satisfied, even if it takes awhile. i doubt others do as well. but when we're having intercourse and it's taking too long to climax, we're more likely to stop or fake it. probably because we don't want to disappoint the other person....???
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