Sarah Update
A commenter below mentioned Sarah and it occurs to me that maybe I should mention her too. We now have a business relationship. No! Not that kind!
Sarah teaches part-time at a local college. It so happens that I have produced an educational video concerning the subject that she's teaching this summer and she has decided to use it as one of her course materials.
Her level of personal affection is apparently inversely proportionate to her esteem of my professional skills.
Although my ardor for her has not cooled, my pursuit of her has. I'm not giving up but my sense is that she is feeling pressed. In our e-mails regarding my video, she didn't mention anything remotely personal other than to state that our friendship had no bearing on her decision to use it. When I have brought personal things up lately, her answers have gotten shorter and shorter.
So I'm easing up. It's been a week since I last wrote to her. I'm trying to impress not oppress! (And when things ultimately don't work out, I'll be trying to repress.) Absense only makes the heart grow fonder if there's fondness there in the first place. Otherwise absense only makes the heart grow absent-minded. But I need to balance the line between being persistent and being a pest, if for no other reason than not to jeopardize our business deal. (How do you spell love? M-O-N-E-Y!)
Here's the thing: Just when I have almost surrendered, she'll say (or write) something that gives me hope. She'll mention "the next time we meet..." or something like that. It could be that she values my friendship but that's all. She does have a lot of male friends and she's trying to keep me at a distance so that I don't sense a closeness that she doesn't.
She might still be dealing with issues from her last relationship. She's also coming to a career crossroads soon and that could be occupying her thoughts. Or she could simply not be into me, irresistable as I am.
Sarah teaches part-time at a local college. It so happens that I have produced an educational video concerning the subject that she's teaching this summer and she has decided to use it as one of her course materials.
Her level of personal affection is apparently inversely proportionate to her esteem of my professional skills.
Although my ardor for her has not cooled, my pursuit of her has. I'm not giving up but my sense is that she is feeling pressed. In our e-mails regarding my video, she didn't mention anything remotely personal other than to state that our friendship had no bearing on her decision to use it. When I have brought personal things up lately, her answers have gotten shorter and shorter.
So I'm easing up. It's been a week since I last wrote to her. I'm trying to impress not oppress! (And when things ultimately don't work out, I'll be trying to repress.) Absense only makes the heart grow fonder if there's fondness there in the first place. Otherwise absense only makes the heart grow absent-minded. But I need to balance the line between being persistent and being a pest, if for no other reason than not to jeopardize our business deal. (How do you spell love? M-O-N-E-Y!)
Here's the thing: Just when I have almost surrendered, she'll say (or write) something that gives me hope. She'll mention "the next time we meet..." or something like that. It could be that she values my friendship but that's all. She does have a lot of male friends and she's trying to keep me at a distance so that I don't sense a closeness that she doesn't.
She might still be dealing with issues from her last relationship. She's also coming to a career crossroads soon and that could be occupying her thoughts. Or she could simply not be into me, irresistable as I am.
Labels: Sarah
posted by jack at 8:41 PM
3 Comments:
Jack,
I admire the feelings you have for Sarah. If only i could tell her how much she mean to you...I would. I know how it feels to be alone... It's not the best feeling in the world...but hang in there. If it's not Sarah, I'm sure another one would come. Unexpectedly.
Lyn
P.S.
I dont think you will ever find someone in Craigslist... although i find myself checking out the 'men seeking women' section every now and then, hoping to find the man who calls himself, JACK.
Hey Jack:
Sounds like Sarah's got a lot on her plate...
In some ways, I feel like I've acted like her in the past to guys I had ambivalent feelings about. I'm not presuming she feels this way, but when I acted like that I was at an uncertain point in life with my career and such and I was getting over the proverbial "Love of My Life". There was one guy in particular who I liked as a friend for the most part but sometimes more than friendly feelings would take over. These feelings were not enough for me to want to date him or even satisfy a physical curiousity - but it was still there, confusing the hell out of me...
Sorry to ramble on. My story really has no point. Apologies!
All I can say is I think you're doing the right thing by stopping the persuit of her. She's got a lot going on and if she wanted you to be a part of that, you would be...
Sammie, don't apologize. I appreciate your perspective. The reason I like your blog so much is that you articulate your feelings so well. The sexy stories and occasional pictures don't hurt, either!
Lyn, thank you too.
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