Perk'd Up

We got an offer at work to participate in something called "Corporate Perks," which allegedly gives you discounted prices on a variety of products and services. It was free so I signed up to receive e-mails with updates on the deals offered.

The first one had great prices on name brand products. Cool. I didn't need anything then but I thought it really was going to be a cool a perk sometime. Then reality struck. Subsequent e-mails offered similar discounts. But with a catch: They were available only to premium members, people who pay 40 bucks a year for the privilege.

I was not going to join them. Since the e-mails were signed by name and said at the bottom that you could reply to them, I did. I made it plain that I had no interest in a premium membership and that I did not wish to read any more solicitations to purchase one. They were welcome to send me information about promotions available to regular Corporate Perks members but no more. Twice I told them that and the e-mails stopped. Until today:

-----Original Message-----
From: Corporate Perks
Sent: Monday, September 11, 2006 9:43 AM
To: factjack@companyurl.com
Subject: Reward Yourself with Premium Membership from Corporate Perks

Dear Jack,

Reward Yourself with Premium Membership from Corporate Perks; it pays for itself with even deeper discounts.

This enhanced program will save you money at top retailers and service providers. With Premium you will receive exclusive offers, discounts, and access to special in-store retail events to ensure your getting the best values.

Take an insider look at what kind of savings you can get with Premium...

http://us.corporateperks.com/?uULC=98200344

* Philips Electronics - SAVE up to 40% off

* WBS Cell Phones - Choose from over 25 FREE phones

* EasyClick Travel - SAVE up to 65% OFF your travel

* Avis Car Rental ?25% OFF, plus a free weekend day and $15 off weekly
rentals

* Charles Tyrwhitt - 35% OFF men''s & women''s apparel

* Ann Taylor & Ann Taylor Loft - 15% OFF plus free shipping

For this week, all Premium Membership fees will help support families affected by 9-11.

Cheers,

April Grey
Corporate Perks Team

----------------------------------------------------------------------
ABOUT THIS EMAIL: This email was sent to you because you requested to be informed about exclusive offers on Corporate Perks.

CONTACT US: Please reply to this email.

UNSUBSCRIBE: To unsubscribe, please write UNSUBSCRIBE in the email subject heading and reply to this email.

You may also contact us at this email address: corporateperks@nextjump.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------

So I do that:

UNSUBSCRIBE

Seems simple, straightforward and easy. Problem solved, right?

Au contraire, mon frere. (That's French for, "No bleeping way, mo-fo!" I think.) I'm not finished yet.

From: Customer Service
Sent: Monday, September 11, 2006 4:41 PM
To: factjack@companyURL.com
Subject: Re: You are not being charged for Basic membership

Dear factjack@companyURL.com,

This program is currently being offered to you at NO ANNUAL OR MONTHLY COST. It is a corporate perk offered to you by your employer.

Next Jump is the leading provider of employee discount programs nationwide delivering over 15,000+ offers to over 25 million employees.

Your current no cost membership level is as a basic user. It is possible to upgrade to a paid-membership option, known as the Premium Membership program, which allows you access to additional offers, invite-only shopping events and special promotions. Should you be interested in the Premium Program you can find details of past and current premium offers and fee schedules on the site.

We apologize for any confusion about the program. If you still wish to unsubscribe, please respond to this email and include "REMOVE ME" in the subject line.

Best Regards,

Your Customer Service Team
Corporate Perks

Just what part of UNSUBSCRIBE was confusing? I am fully aware that I do not pay for Corporate Perks. I simply did not want to receive any more e-mail solicitations for the premium service. Since when did "unsubscribe" mean "misunderstand"?

I hope my reply to that finally elucidated the matter.

REMOVE ME!!!!!!!

UNSUBSCRIBE ME!!!!!!

DO NOT SEND ANY MORE E-MAILS TO THIS ADDRESS!!!!!

HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?

I didn’t unsubscribe by accident.

The only thing the e-mails did was to solicit me to sign up for the premium service, for which I had no interest. I asked twice for that to stop and you couldn’t honor that simple request.

If someone goes to the trouble to type into the subject line "Unsubscribe" he is quite confident that he does not want any more e-mails from you. A slip of fingers could misspell a word but they’re not in a thousand years going to randomly type out U-N-S-U-B-S-C-R-I-B-E. How about setting up your system so that when someone follows the instructions to unsubscribe from your list you in turn follow the instructions not to send him any more e-mails? There should be no more action required on my part. It wasn’t a cry for attention. It was a plea to be ignored!

Please do so immediately.

Jack

So far they have left me alone for a full hour.