WTF?

What the hell is wrong with me? I mean, besides my back, which tolerated some weightlifting this morning. I wasn't comfortable but I wasn't screaming, either, so I'm going to call it a success.

Anyway. I need to get out more. The closest thing I've had to a social life lately is replying to craigslist ads. Wanna feel like a loser? Scan through what's available on your local craigslist personals.

I actually replied to one titled "Cute, Cuddley, and (not so) Innocent (seaking LTR FWB) - 32" that read, in part:

Date: 2007-02-23, 6:24PM EST
32, openly married, sweeet n petite female full of sass and just enough class seaking outgoing, somewhat cocky, yet very charming counterpart for friendship, fun, and excitement... I am 5'3 `107 auburn, and love singing, dancing, fishing, football, theatre, fine dining,clubbing on occasion, and partying in moderation.. I drink, i smoke, I SMOKE!! I recently split up with my steady side ride and have re-entered the married yet dating world.

I included a picture of me swinging a golf club. And Lexi wrote back, "Well hello there Jack... lets start wityh that swing... first off your putter is a lil short..." She went on to recommend that I visit her myspace page, titled apparently very appropriately "sassylilbittch."

I replied:

I dunno. No girl has ever complained about the length of my putter before. They seem to like its shaft -- strong as steel not bendy like fiberglass. And it always gets me to the hole.

I'll check out your myspace when I'm not occupied by this necessary evil called work. I'm gonna guess there's a chance that your site is not work safe. There's a chance that you're not safe, either, but so far that's the attraction.

Her myspace page says she has more than 1300 friends yet she's advertising for an extramarrital lover on craigslist? And her husband is cool with that? What's wrong with him?

I replied to another ad and the girl wrote me back asking how old I was. Twice. I replied (honestly, even) the first time in plainly legible numerals and she couldn't grasp the concept? Anyone with this much attention deficit disorder is not going to last with me. Oh, and when I replied to her ad (with pictures) I asked for pics in return if she wrote me. She didn't. Either time.

I need more hobbies. I have the freelance work I do which keeps me busy in spurts but I need something recreational that puts me in contact with fun, creative, smart and engaging people. My job is no help. I work in an office with five other people and, while I enjoy their company well enough at work, they're not people with whom I share a lot of interests. I like that about them because I get to hear about things I wouldn't normally hear about (like comics and messianic Judaism). But not what I want to surround myself all the time.

I don't think sassylilbittch is, either. Gotta go find what is.